Kiki’s Delivery Service Helped My Depression
Ghibli Month — Chapter 5: Kiki’s Delivery Service
Director — Hayao Miyazaki
Year of Release — 1989
Language — English
How Many Times Watched? — 5 times
Rating — ★★★★★
This is a Must Watch. Let yourself be healed by this lighthearted story of finding your own way.
Kiki’s Delivery Service marked the beginning of Studio Ghibli’s success as an animation powerhouse and a worldwide phenomenon. After the box office disappointment of Grave of the Fireflies and My Neighbor Totoro, Studio Ghibli needed a hit and a hit they got. Kiki’s Delivery Service was a box office smash, becoming the highest-grossing film in Japan in 1989, cementing its place as a Miyazaki classic right up there with Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke. It was also the first film released under the partnership with Disney. It happened to release the same day I was born — 01 Sep 1998 — so it makes sense why I have such a strong connection to it.
In March 2019, my friend and I drove down to Georgia to visit an old friend for spring break. It was about a 10-hour drive, which was no sweat for us cool college kids. It was that week I was introduced to the art of anime films when we watched Makoto Shinkai’s Your Name twice in 12 hours.
When it was our time to leave and go back to school, we planned it out to where we would get to our local second-run theater right when the last showing of Kiki’s Delivery Service would be starting. I don’t know if it was my best idea to drive 10 hours (more like 11 hours, ugh Charlotte traffic) to watch a 10 pm showing of a film I knew nothing about. But oh was it worth it. Kiki’s Delivery Service is a deeply personal film for me. Not only is it my favorite Miyazaki film and one of my favorite films of all time, but it helped me in a time when I really needed it.
The film follows a thirteen-year-old witch named Kiki as she leaves home on her customary year-long training. It is a time for her to go out on her own and establish her own place in the world. A witch’s duty is to serve her community through a developed witch skill. Some examples are potion making and fortune-telling. However, Kiki doesn’t really have any skills other than (barely) knowing how to fly. So she decides to create her own delivery service, hence the title. Along the way she meets many people that help her make the difficult transition to adulthood.
At its heart, Kiki’s Delivery Service is a coming of age story about a girl learning what it truly means to be an individual, self-supporting woman. Rather than having Kiki fixing all her problems without resistance, Miyazaki creates a more complex character. She rarely has it all worked out and often struggles in life. She gets sad and depressed when nothing seems to be going right. Even though she’s a witch, Kiki is just as human as the rest of us, dealing with very human issues.
After a string of upsetting occurrences, Kiki’s will diminishes causing her to lose her powers. She can no longer hear her cat, Jiji, or fly, forcing her to put her delivery business on hold. Though never diagnosed in the film, Kiki is dealing with what looks like depression, at least mildly. To her, nothing seems to be going right, giving her no ability to properly function.
It isn't until her older friend Ursula comes into the city to see her where things start to look up for Kiki. Ursula can tell that Kiki is not feeling herself and suggests they take a trip out to her cabin for the night. This is exactly what Kiki needed: a friend to drink tea with and talk about real stuff. Ursula explains that this kind of thing happened to her when she was trying to paint. She just lost all ability and inspiration to keep doing what she’s good at. She explains, “We each need to find our own inspiration, Kiki. Sometimes it’s not easy.”
Ursula’s advice really hits home for me. When I saw this film, I had already been dealing with a fairly serious bit of depression for about 6 months. I was a Resident Assistant at a Christian university while simultaneously dealing with the deconstruction of my Christian faith. Not really the best environment for me mentally. I began to spiral further into myself, losing all energy and ability to properly function. Nothing could possibly go right. Like Kiki, I was struggling to find my place in the world.
As Kiki returned to normal life, she was feeling refreshed yet still lacking the inspiration she needed to get back on track. It wasn’t until Madame, an older lady she had made a delivery for, baked her a cake as a simple gesture of gratitude that Kiki started to feel better. She needed the reminder that people around her that love and care for her regardless of her abilities.
In the grand finale, Tombo, a friend of Kiki’s, is trying to keep the dirigible (a fancy word for ‘blimp’) from being carried off by the wind. He ends up hanging from a rope off of it and in need of saving. Kiki, caring for Tombo, is able to find inspiration in the people around her to get her powers back and save the boy.
Kiki learned that being an individual never requires you to be on your own. Quite the opposite, actually. Without friends helping her along the way, Kiki never would have been able to make it. The generosity of Osono who took her in. The persistence of Tombo. The kindness of Ursula. Everyone Kiki came into contact with played a part in her development. It was the inspiration of others that helped her get back to being the kind, loving girl she is.
Watching Kiki’s Delivery Service was the salvation moment I needed. Kiki falling face-first on her bed was a gut punch. I saw myself in a way I never had before in the theater that night. I felt hopeful for the first time in a while, finally being able to start processing my situation and seek help outside of myself.
Kiki’s Delivery Service is not Miyazaki’s best film, not by a long shot. But I believe it is his most special. It means something to me more than any other film possibly could. It helped me in a time when I thought I was helpless. It gave me hope when I thought there was none. I am eternally grateful for this film and where it has brought me.
I want to thank everyone that has helped me along the way. Those that patiently listened to me. Those that watched plenty of movies with me. Everyone that has played some role in who I am today, thank you so much. Now do me one last favor and watch Kiki’s Delivery Service with me.
What inspires you? What gets you out of bed in the morning? What makes you want to keep moving forward? Whether you are dealing with depression or not, I urge you to find the people around you that care about you and lean into them. You won’t be an inconvenience. Let people help you. It’s worth it.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1–800–273–8255
SAMHSA’s National Helpline: 1–800–662–4357
